Category Archives: Love

Horizon

There’s something

you still need to brush

with your palms, fingers,

every sense of touch.

 

Because you did not swim far enough,

for you, I will swim

to reach

what you did not.

 

Every ocean’s distance

I will shorten for you,

in my small pocket

is a hole to look through.

 

The view from a ledge

impatiently consumed,

to see, this time

the horizon reaching for you.

 

 

For he who wanted to touch the horizon

-Diana Tan Domantay 04/19/2012

I Used To

Something is happening to me. Internally, there is this change deepening.

I used to get sad a lot, unbearably sad. I used to cry a lot about the temporariness of life and of all of the things associated with life. I used to ponder over how fast everything moved and believed everything was fleeting. I would shed tears as if everything would change its mind and stay around forever instead (if it pitied me enough). I could only write to sort it all out. I could only write to speak to it.

I wanted to know the truth from every person I met. Thanks to my eagerness, I met many people. Luckily, most people were happy to share themselves and I received some rare, beautiful glimpses of the truth I had set out to understand. I miss those people. It’s not that they are gone. I just miss people and the moments I spend with them, though I no longer cry about this.

I used to desperately need people to love. I needed them to love more than I needed myself.

I used to spend my most favorite waking hours lost within this great appreciation of love for another and another. The more I felt, meant the more I was fulfilled. I realize now my own ability to love without details was a great force. But now, even more importantly, I realize how even greater those details can be. Still, I live and learn and love again as those things tend to happen.

I look back now and laugh at some of the ridiculousness of my own thinking. It’s true, I swooned only after finding out the best in another and another. but the longer and stronger I cared for populations beyond myself, suddenly I was the one who was empty. How did overpracticing an act that had always filled me up become what could conquer me?  I guess it was a slow becoming. Now I am finding acts to heal me, repair me to a new, better state of being.

Though through it all, I remember the times in which I would be the sole admirer of the best in another. I used to stubbornly defend what I knew to be true. I couldn’t help it. I had convinced myself. Strangely, those would be the times when I felt the least alone. Deep down I think that’s what I’ve always wanted the most.

It’s funny how your own certainty can make such pleasant company.

-Diana Tan Domantay 03/15/2012

Love Poem for Deutsch

My hopes are deepened

and on its own

monotony is disturbed enough

to open its eyes

to you

 

And I am healed with you

 

Simply because I do not know you yet

 

You are new

 

And I

 

Cannot be bored

And can only explore

 

How each word of you

is not

 

What I have always known a word to be

 

– Diana Tan Domantay 02/05/2012

To Frank O’Hara

You breathed notoriety into the beauty

That you believed one person possessed

 

All of the beauty in the whole world was incomparable to this beauty

That you believed one person possessed

 

So much that

you would trade anything for

a moment with

this one person

 

Give it up and

give it all away

 

To speak to this one person over

one common, sweet beverage

 

Dedicated to poet Frank O’Hara, especially for his poem “Having  A Coke With You”

-Diana Tan Domantay 01/15/2012

Gardens

I think about you

at times

when I am walking along

new paths

 

It is sometimes that

these paths

wind to nowhere

 

And sometimes

I am lucky

to follow one

that leads me to a garden

 

Where the smell of flowers is real

 

And where

the world is vastly green and blue

 

Planted in a welcoming quietness

 

And in the yellow daisies

are the whispers of nearby trees

whom may soon bear fruit

 

Though it is impossible for one

to wait

for their readiness

to leave their branches

 

I understand

 

That I must have compassion in my

admittance that

 

It is difficult to wait for something

so sweet

 

And it is then

I cannot help but be reminded

of the countless hours you would spend

in gardens

that look exactly like this one

 

I smile and turn

As if you were there to speak to

 

I forget that you are not here

 

But it is now

I know

if you were

 

You would be waiting

(perhaps more patiently)

 

somewhere just like this

 

 

In memory of my mother who loved gardens

Concepcion Tan Domantay March 4, 1942-July 25, 2001

-Diana Tan Domantay 03/04/2012