Category Archives: Friendship

Sent

I sent you words

that left my door

open to you

 

They were not easy

but they were

 

Forward,

honest,

and sincere

 

And they carried

all of my vulnerability

beneath

their ink

 

They laid

dried upon

one sheet of paper

 

That I folded into

a crisp, white

envelope

 

Which is no longer in my sight

 

But will soon be

in your possession

 

For the same mysterious one

-Diana Tan Domantay 04/06/2012

Advertisements

I Used To

Something is happening to me. Internally, there is this change deepening.

I used to get sad a lot, unbearably sad. I used to cry a lot about the temporariness of life and of all of the things associated with life. I used to ponder over how fast everything moved and believed everything was fleeting. I would shed tears as if everything would change its mind and stay around forever instead (if it pitied me enough). I could only write to sort it all out. I could only write to speak to it.

I wanted to know the truth from every person I met. Thanks to my eagerness, I met many people. Luckily, most people were happy to share themselves and I received some rare, beautiful glimpses of the truth I had set out to understand. I miss those people. It’s not that they are gone. I just miss people and the moments I spend with them, though I no longer cry about this.

I used to desperately need people to love. I needed them to love more than I needed myself.

I used to spend my most favorite waking hours lost within this great appreciation of love for another and another. The more I felt, meant the more I was fulfilled. I realize now my own ability to love without details was a great force. But now, even more importantly, I realize how even greater those details can be. Still, I live and learn and love again as those things tend to happen.

I look back now and laugh at some of the ridiculousness of my own thinking. It’s true, I swooned only after finding out the best in another and another. but the longer and stronger I cared for populations beyond myself, suddenly I was the one who was empty. How did overpracticing an act that had always filled me up become what could conquer me?  I guess it was a slow becoming. Now I am finding acts to heal me, repair me to a new, better state of being.

Though through it all, I remember the times in which I would be the sole admirer of the best in another. I used to stubbornly defend what I knew to be true. I couldn’t help it. I had convinced myself. Strangely, those would be the times when I felt the least alone. Deep down I think that’s what I’ve always wanted the most.

It’s funny how your own certainty can make such pleasant company.

-Diana Tan Domantay 03/15/2012

Unknowing Trade

Now I never will

trade away peaches without knowing

they are gold

 

Until now I never knew

 

Their worth

Their sweetness

Their shine

 

Or the sincere simplicity

I once held at their peak

Of ripeness

 

Which I cannot buy again

But can wait for

 

the honesty

to say hello to them

again

 

Next season

 

 

-Diana Tan Domantay 02/16/2012

Ties to You

Ties to you

are pathways

stretching from the past

forever looking forward towards what comes next

 

it is as if our lives are so

closely, yet loosely intertwined

that we feel we may dangle common conversation

above the world

in easy contentment

 

and still believe that it is something new and grand

 

it is in this easiness

so entirely second nature

that convinces me to believe

that ties to you are really freedoms

 

reminding me of strength and

in other moments introducing me to

a unique meaning of happiness

that is bestowed upon me

 

for knowing you

-For my best friend Jamie Samuel Wylie

 Diana Tan Domantay 01/22/2012